No internet (eek)!

Hi people (if anyone reads this blog, lol! )!

I have been completely M.I.A., I know. the reason (main reason, anyway) is that we are without internet at home for the time being!
As I am an utter and complete internet junkie, this sucks. lol.

Another reason I haven't posted (besides the fact my life is boring and I suck at blogging) is that I am really unsure of myself at the moment... I feel a bit lost. I don't know what I want, who I want to be....how I want to be, or what I even really value in myself or how I define myself.

Fucking confusing. 

My workouts haven't been too great, my eating definitely hasn't been too great, and all in all I fell like most of what I post would be whining about "What the heck am I doing? How can I be happy? How do I get my motivation back?"

So, there you go, that's where I am right now.

I hope you all are happy and thriving! :D

Yay!

I went. I "farlek-ed" again. lol! sorry, I'm a little giddy. It is SO WARM out today, like over 70*. YES!
Ok, I won't put this in every time, but I didn't do exactly the route I said I would, so I am putting it in again right now. I just feel like it. :p



I'm feeling a bit bipolar right now. Yesterday was a really low day for me, and today is so much better so far!

I am trying to make food not such a focus in my life-- and when I eat, have it be light, (read: don't stuff self), healhty, and functional. So far today, so good.

So, it's so pretty out today and I felt like dressing up, which always helps one's mood-- and my leopard-print high heels (yes, it was an AWESOME impulse buy. ).

I'm going to go get an iced coffee at my sister's coffee place. :)

(Insert "Determined Face" Here)

I will come back and post after I have GONE FOR A RUN on this gorgeous day.

No being a lazy ass, Julia.

:p

EDIT: Ok I just have to state that I am incredibly smelly today, and need to go so I can come back and shower. Hehe.

No but seriously.  I am rank.

Edit#2:  Here is the route I am going on NOW.   I will most likely walk most of it. I am mainly putting this here because embedding things is awesome and I feel very high-tech.  Hahaha.

No laziness, or else!

I went for a run again yesterday! It sucked again though. I'll get it back-- I just need to get into the swing o' things.

I walked most of it, again, and actually halfway through I stopped back at my house for like 40 minutes because I was getting too many cramps.  :(

Then I went back out. It was about 4.5-ish miles total (not sure exactly because I suck at roads, lol).

 A run that usually would take me 40 min. took me an hour the other day and 55-ish minutes yesterday. A little better! (...Not counting the sitting in between...)

btw, if anyone likes to run ( /bike /even swim, I think) outside, www.mapmyrun.com is awesome. Really useful.

I've decided to stop buying pudding mix and little yogurts because I can't be trusted around them...I will eat only that and I really am feeling the need for some healthy food (like fruit and veggies and protein) right about now.

Yeah, so not much interesting here...Gonna do some gluteal work today, my bum has deflated once again...haha
It's GORGEOUS out, but I don't feel the motivation to go for a run. Probably tomorrow though.

Yesterday sucked, but I am GOING to get off the computer ASAP and GO. TO. THE. GYM. or I will kick my own butt.

:)

Cutting back

My mom decided that today she would sit me and my sister down for a "family meeting" (insert eye roll here), and tell us that we are poor and need to cut back even more.
And that we both need to get jobs, which I don't mind, I want one, but still. I have always--since I was very little-- been worried about money and whether we have enough to get things we need. Part of me resents that, because most kids don't usually worry about that especially at age 6, but I think that skill will also serve me well in life now that I am 18 and a "grown up" who has to do her taxes. Le sigh.

Also, I can't seem to get a handle on my eating-- I can't just have a "meal" and stop, it's constant snacking. It's like, once I start eating, I have to eat till I am in pain, and I don't like that. I need to fix that.
It makes my workouts suck too. :(

So I guess today isn't going to be the best of days but who knows, maybe it will turn around.
I wanted to get up early and go straight to the gym, but then I ended up waking up at 8:30, which is late for me, and then eating the entire world and yeah.

I need to call my dad about taxes and do homework, and apply for jobs.....

TTYL!

*Grin*

Mmm, I feel good today.
I went to yoga last night and then I went for a run this morning/afternoon. It took me an hour. :(

To be honest, my "run" was more like a "walk", with a little running thrown in here and there. I just can't tell when to stop eating before I go so I don't get cramps!

I was all set to go to the gym, but then I heard it's supposed to be a high of 70* today (WOOT!) and I was all "Hell, naw. I'ma gonna go for a run."
Lol!

*sighs happily* I LOVE running outside more than almost anything. well, that's a lie, but I like it a lot.

I'm going to go for a walk outside later-- the birds are all singing, it's still sunny (though they said it was supposed to rain), and the flowers are out! AND it smells like spring! AND its vacation!

I hope you all have AMAZING days!

(food choices today/lately...not so hot, but today cancels that out b/c it's so nice out. I need motivation to do better in that area though.)

Edit: Ooooh, I am SORE! yesterday I not only did yoga, which makes one sore if one hasn't done it in forever (see: me), but that AM I had done weights too. assisted pullups, (lol I can tell I babysit too much, that word makes me think of diapers and "I'm a big kid now!"<--in singsong ), situps, weighted lunges, deadlifts, i think some other stuff.
so, now my armpits and shoulders/chest hurt like a mofo and my legs are stiff.



.....*grin*

Mmmm, yoga.

I went to yoga tonight for the first time in months.  I don't see hoe anyone can try yoga and not fall in love with it. Yoga is ah-mazing. :)

It was mainly stretching this time-- my two main instructors are psychic, I think, because each class seems to be exactly what I want or need that day.

Oh, and did I mention that it is officially APRIL VACATION??!?!? Yeah! This week seemed like it would never. end. Especially today, it just dragggggged. 

So if you can't tell already, I suck at consistently blogging. Sorry. You're really not missing much. heh. 

Plans for vaca:   Work, a lot, and make money, because I am flat BROKE and want to buy stuff. :(     Oh, and do some homework too....I guess..... 

I thought this blog was going to be about health/fitness/food but seeing as I (at the moment) never eat "real" meals (I just snack on what I feel like eating, all day) unless I am at school and have to take along food, and also seeing as I have no camera anymore (*tear*), I think that's going to take a backseat for now.

Happy Friday everyone! Is anyone else as happy as I am that The Office premiered (finally!) yesterday-- and Bones is premiering on Monday?!?! 

I think I love TV just a lil too much. lol! :)

Ah, babysitting

I'm babysitting right now, but the kids are "asleep" (one is, one is banging around in her room, but I was told to ignore it, "she'll settle down", lol).  The older one is about 2 1/2, the younger just over 1. (Yeah, the parents are exhausted...poor guys.) 

This family is the cutest family in the world.  No lie. I love them. Plus they pay me $10/hour, so that's also good...

The kids are adorable, too. BUT, I'm 18 and am seriously unready for kids, so they get on my nerves sometimes (as kids do).

I had a great workout today! I haven't run for the majority of my workout for ages. I walked to the gym (we are living, at the moment, about a mile away....it rocks), only did cardio, cuz it was one of those days and was necessary, and walked home, ate the world, and then got a ride to work. And I will be able to replenish my debit card on Monday! Woot! lol, I'm broke. 

I have an issue with running, especially on a treadmill. I can't run for more than 2 minutes at a time. I suck. But I think--no, I know-- that it is more psychological than physical. That big red STOP button just stares me in the face. It says "Why keep going? You could just stop....just for a moment...you know you want to. C'mon. Do it."

I think over time though, it has turned into a physical issue, which I am working on. Slowly. lol.

I do prefer to run outside, but I am also a cold wuss, so the weather has to be perfect to do that...which in the northeast rarely occurs.

Wow, my blog is boring. :(  

Hey, I know, lets talk about food! Hehe.

I made the greatest sandwich for luch tomorrow. I love having to go to school and take food along- it forces me to eat quasi-healthy, because it's all I have...

Anyway, I used a La Tortilla Factory Fit 'n' Healthy Tomato Basil wrap, and I put fat free cream cheese, pesto, tomato, Lightlife soy bologna, onion, light mozzarella, baby spinach, pepper, and oregano...and I think that's it... 

School sucks, and my lunch is the highlight of my day. How sad. Haha. 

My sister has moved back from Cali, and I have mixed feelings about that.....I love her TO DEATH and we are uber-close, but also she is a pain in the ass. Lol!

I'm excited for her though, becuase she actually has a plan for her life (the lack of which has caused her a great deal of stress in the past).

I could go on and on about the inane crap in my life, but I will spare you and stop here. 

Hopefully I'll get a camera soon.

You know what's kind of weird? The longer I am not living in my old house, the more I miss it-- and it seems the less I am used to it.

I really fucking miss it right about now. I think we have decided to rebuild though, so yay!

Oh, I think I hear the baby waking up. 

Tomorrow is Monday....le sigh.... 

:)

I haven't posted since when?

Well, I have a good reason-- schoolwork. Ugh.

Apparently I owe a buttload of work in 3 different classes and they all chose to tell me within the same 2 days-- I thought I was caught up! Dammit. 

Anywho, there is always so much drama (at least lately) in my little otherwise boring world. 

I had something happen to my throat a few days ago--no idea what really happened--but you know when you get something stick in your throat, something like a chip or something scratchy, how it hurts like a bitch?  Well, I hadn't eaten anything like that all day, but it hurt so incredibly bad, like there was something in my throat. I was in so much pain that I resorted to gagging myself to try and get whatever it was out-- but it was bloody! And it still hurt! My mom thought it was a side effect of the Prozac, and contacted my doc, who said to stop it just in case (though she had never heard of that as being a side effect before).

So the next day, it didn't hurt at al, but the days after that have hurt very badly-- it's hard to swallow.

I can't really afford to go to a doctor, and I'm hoping it will heal on its own with soft foods, etc.

Ok, so this whole blog so far sounds like my whole life is one big blob of negativity. That's not true! I think I just vent the bad stuff here.

Good things: my cat is crazy and keeps attacking the rug in this house (she never did that at home, lol)

- My mom is getting a job, and working very hard at starting her own yoga therapy/life coach business (woo-hoo!) It's tough going, but she is qualified and I think people will really value her once she gets herself out there.

- my sister is taking control of her life, getting a plan (art school, job, therapy, etc)

- I am....plodding along in school to get out of here, lol

and its SPRING! :)

Happy Friday everyone! 

And thanks to Ashley for visiting/commenting!